The DiNozzo Goldfish Sagas
by ytteb
Summary: Tony's goldfish lead to some interesting encounters ... minor 'character' death in the first chapter.
1. Chapter 1

"Are you feeling sad too?"

Tony looked up from the case file he was reading and saw that Isabella had abandoned the coloring she was doing at Gibbs' desk and had come to stand next to him. They looked at one another for a few moments.

"Yes," he answered.

Isabella nodded and returned to Gibbs' desk. McGee and Ziva looked at each other. They had both noticed that Tony was quiet that day but had put it down to tiredness after a hectic week trying to solve the mystery of the death of Gunnery Sergeant Charlton Dawson, Isabella's father.

The previous day had seen the 'successful' conclusion of the case but it had brought no satisfaction. The gunny had disappeared while driving to Norfolk to make a surprise inspection of a weapons store. When his commanding officer realised that he hadn't arrived he had raised the alarm and NCIS had been brought in. The theories about what had happened to Dawson had included desertion, theft and terrorism. The truth was more mundane. Dawson's truck had gone off the road into a ditch and had gone unnoticed for three days. Ducky had determined that the gunny had died instantly . Abby's examination of the truck showed that routine maintenance had been poor so that a problem with the brakes had been missed.

The Navy had lost a fine soldier; Cheryl Dawson had lost a beloved husband and eight year old Isabella had lost her father. Mrs Dawson had come to the Navy Yard to meet Charlton's commanding officer and hear what had gone wrong with the maintenance crew. Gibbs had met them at the elevator,

"Mrs Dawson, I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Agent Gibbs. I appreciate all the work your team did trying to find Charlie."

"I just wish we could have had a better outcome for you. Is this your daughter?"

"Yes, this is Isabella. I had to bring her, I couldn't find a sitter, our family is a long way away."

"No problem at all. My team will be glad to watch her while we talk to your husband's CO".

And so they had gone away, leaving Isabella with a pad of paper and some crayons which Gibbs had produced out of nowhere. She hadn't spoken to anyone until her question to Tony. She then went back to her work. A few minutes later she went and stood at Tony's desk again and handed him a picture.

"This is for you", she said.

Tony looked at the drawing of a bright yellow sun.

"Thank you, it's beautiful."

"I thought it might make you feel better," explained Isabella, "why are you sad?"

Tony hesitated. He could sense that McGee and Ziva had stopped working and were listening for his reply. He leaned forward and whispered in her ear,

"My goldfish died last night."

Isabella nodded and went back to Gibbs' desk. A few minutes later she was back,

"Agent Tony, can I have a drink, please?"

"Tony, I can take Isabella to the break room," said Ziva.

"Isabella, come with me. We'll find you something," said Tim in a cheerful scout leader voice.

Tony looked at Isabella and said,

"No need. Bella, let's go and see what we can find."

As he stood up he was surprised that the little girl slipped her hand into his. He squeezed it gently and they left the squad room together.

They stood in front of the vending machines.

"What do you want, Bella? There's milk or juice? I'm guessing your mom wouldn't want you to have a soda?"

"Milk's fine, Agent Tony. I like milk."

"Milk it is then," said Tony, getting them both a drink of milk. He made to go back to the squad room but Isabella sat down at one of the tables. Tony followed her.

"Did your goldfish have a name?" she asked.

"Yes, her name was Kate", replied Tony.

"Was she beautiful?"

"Yes, she was. Not very talkative though."

Isabella giggled, "That's silly. Goldfish can't talk."

"No," agreed Tony, "she was a good listener though."

"Had she been sick?" asked Isabella.

"No, I don't think so. She just died."

"Like my daddy," came the soft reply.

"Bella ...," began Tony uncertainly.

"Daddy calls me 'Bella'. Mommy always calls me Isabella or sometimes 'Izzy'".

"I'm sorry, Isabella."

"I don't mind _you_ calling me Bella," she said, "it sounds nice when you say it."

"'Bella' means beautiful in Italian," explained Tony.

Isabella nodded and took a sip of her drink. Tony followed suit but managed to make a slurping noise with the straw, making her giggle again. She looked a bit guilty and said,

"Daddy always told me to be a good girl for Mommy. And last night, on the phone, Grandma said I should be a brave girl and not be any trouble."

Tony winced a bit, remembering how he had been told not to cry or be a nuisance when his mom died. Funny thing was he didn't seem to remember the adults taking their own advice. He wondered what to say but his companion continued,

"Daddy was a good listener too. Like your goldfish. Did you love her?"

Tony hesitated. He hadn't told his co-workers about Kate because he wasn't sure how they would react. He was sure that Abby would have been distraught , would have tried to arrange a full blown funeral and made sure the nuns got praying. He didn't think Tim and Ziva would have laughed but he didn't think they would have taken it very seriously. He felt he needed a half way house between Abby's overreaction and the others' lack of sympathy – truth to tell, he wasn't sure what he felt. He was sure it was ridiculous at his age to feel sad because a goldfish had died but that didn't prevent him feeling how he did,

"Yes, I did," he said, "I did love Kate."

"I loved my Daddy," said Isabella.

"I know," said Tony, "it's all right to be sad, you know."

"But what about being brave?" asked the child.

"Sometimes being brave isn't all it's cracked up to be. I don't think your daddy would mind if you cried."

NCISNCIS

"Thank you, Agent Gibbs," said Cheryl Dawson as they came down the stairs from the conference room where they had had their meeting, "you've been very kind. Now, where's Isabella?"

"Aah, Tony and your daughter went to get a drink," said Tim, "I think they went to the break room."

"I'll show you the way," said Gibbs.

"I'm worried about Izzy, Agent Gibbs," said Cheryl, "she hasn't cried at all yet, she's just gone very quiet. She adored Charlie, she was a real daddy's girl."

"She'll be all right," said Gibbs trying to be reassuring, "kids are resilient. She'll cry when she's ready."

They turned the corner into the break room and stopped in astonishment. Tony had an armful of sobbing child and his own eyes looked suspiciously damp. He looked up in horror at Mrs Dawson and his boss and began to stammer out an excuse,

"Boss, this isn't what it looks like. I didn't upset Bella, honest!"

Isabella twisted in his arms and saw her mother. She wriggled out of his embrace and ran towards Mrs Dawson,

"Mommy, mommy! Agent Tony's goldfish died!"

Cheryl hugged her daughter as she continued to cry. At that moment, Ziva came looking for them. She surveyed the scene but decided not to comment.

"Gibbs, Tony, we've just had a call from dispatch. There's some sort of disturbance at Quantico."

"I'm sorry, Mrs Dawson, we'll have to go," said Gibbs.

"I understand, Agent Gibbs. Thank you _both_ for all you've done."

"Goodbye, Agent Tony," said a tearful Isabella, "remember that being brave's not all it's cracked up to be."

"Ciao, Bella," said Tony, "ouch, what that was that for?" he asked Gibbs indignantly, rubbing the back of his head.

"For not telling me your goldfish died!" said Gibbs as if it was obvious.

"Right, Boss. Thank you, Boss."

NCISNCIS

That night, as Tony looked mournfully at the empty goldfish bowl, he was surprised by a knock at his door. He was even more surprised when he opened it and saw Director Vance and his two children standing there.

"Director Vance! This is a ... pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?"

"Coming in would be good," said the Director drily.

"Oh ... of course, come in. Can I get you anything?" Tony said, feeling at a complete loss.

"Kayla and Jared would probably like some milk," said Vance. Tony noticed for the first time that he looked as uncomfortable with the situation as Tony did.

"Sure, I think I may have some cookies too. My dad keeps sending me care packages since he found out that I don't bake!"

Tony settled the two children in his kitchen and then came out to speak to the Director. Vance cleared his throat,

"I bumped into Mrs Dawson this afternoon ..." he began.

"Ah, I can explain that," said Tony.

"Really?" asked Leon.

"No, not really," admitted Tony, "Bella, Isabella ... was just upset about her dad".

"Mrs Dawson said Agent Gibbs' team had been real helpful with her daughter."

"That's good?" suggested Tony.

"At first I assumed that Gibbs had worked his usual magic with children", said Leon.

"He does have a way with those little ankle-biters, doesn't he?" agreed Tony with a nervous laugh.

"But Mrs Dawson assured me that it was 'Agent Tony' who seemed to have got through to her daughter," continued the Director.

Tony shrugged in embarrassment.

"Good work, Agent DiNozzo, good work," praised Leon.

"Thank you, Director," said Tony, "but you didn't need to come all this way to say that".

The Director cleared his throat again, he seemed a little embarrassed. "I happened to mention to Kayla and Jared that your goldfish died ..."

"... and we said we should buy you a new one," said Kayla, coming out of the kitchen with cookie crumbs down the front of her coat.

"But then we thought that perhaps we should get you two," said Jared excitedly.

"Because we know that _people_ get lonely if they're on their own," said his sister.

"And goldfish probably do too," finished Jared.

"So we've just been to the pet store," said the Director, "Kids, go get the package from the hall".

The two children ran to the door and collected the package they'd left just outside.

"Aren't they cute?" said Kayla

Tony held the two plastic containers up to the light and gazed inside. He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't know if he was ready to replace Kate. Then he looked at Kayla and Jared who were vibrating with excitement and looking at him expectantly. Then he looked across at the Director who was clearly anxious that his children were about to suffer another disappointment. He knew what he had to do.

"Hey, roomies. Welcome to Casa DiNozzo!'

* * *

_AN: pure nonsense, I know. Toying with the idea of having the funeral ..._


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for all the comments and suggestions._

* * *

"Hi, Ducky," said Tony as he went into Autopsy early the next morning.

"Good morning, Anthony," replied Ducky, "er ... what can I do for you?"

"Have you got a moment, Ducky? Or are you busy?" asked Tony, noticing that the doctor looked a little flustered.

"I always have time for you, Anthony. May I say how sorry I was to hear about your goldfish's ... um ... unhappy demise."

"Thank you, Ducky. I ... wanted to ask you something," said Tony hesitantly.

"Of course. Do you want me to perform an autopsy on your ichthyic friend?"

"On my what?" asked a bewildered Tony.

"On your goldfish," said Ducky taking pity on him. "I do have some experience in these matters and I am sure Mr Palmer, with his veterinarian expertise, would be willing to assist. Is the poor creature in that box?"

"What? No! No, these are some cookies that I brought in for the Director's kids."

It was Ducky's turn to be bewildered.

"Do you often bring in treats for Director Vance's family? I had no idea you were so close to them."

"Believe me, this is the first time," said a harried Tony. "They seemed to like them when they came to visit last night."

"The Director's children visited you in your apartment?" said an astonished Ducky, "Does the Director know?"

"Oh, he knows, he brought them ... along with Hansel and Gretel."

"I need a cup of tea," said Ducky, "it is too early in the morning for riddles. Sit down, Anthony and do not say another word until I have made us a soothing beverage. No ...," he raised a finger as Tony tried to explain, "not another word!"

It was some time before Ducky was ready for Tony to explain; his tea-making ritual had to be followed meticulously. He took a healing sip of his tea and gestured for Tony to begin,

"The Director told Kayla and Jared about Kate and they insisted they should buy me a replacement and they came visiting last night."

"And who are Hansel and Gretel?" enquired Ducky.

"They brought two fish. Apparently they thought one might be lonely, so they got two."

"I see, and you named them ..."

"Hansel and Gretel," supplied Tony, "I thought of Bonnie and Clyde but I didn't think the Director would appreciate me naming his kids' fish after two criminals."

"Indeed, no," said Ducky, "and my memory of the story is that Hansel and Gretel were resourceful children. A good choice, I think, Anthony."

"So long as there aren't any wicked stepmothers on the horizon," pointed out Tony.

"I don't think you need to over think this, Anthony. Hansel and Gretel will be fine." He took another sip of tea.

"I don't quite understand why the Director told his kids about Kate," mused Tony.

"Don't you? I think it is quite obvious. Do you really think that there is much that the Director can share with his family about what happens at work? I daresay your goldfish's demise was a godsend for him."

Tony nodded doubtfully. Ducky finished his tea and stood up, "Well, I'm glad to have been able to help you, Anthony. Now, I expect that Jethro will be looking for you."

"Oh ... no, Ducky, that's not what I came to see you about," said Tony.

"I see," said Ducky, sitting down again, "well, fire away." He saw Tony shift uncomfortably and hesitate. He realised that he may have been a little brusque so continued in a softer tone, "I have plenty of time, Anthony. Now, what's on your mind?"

"Do you think it's odd that I'm so upset about Kate? I mean, someone of my age shouldn't be so worried. I should have just scooped her out and flushed her down the toilet without a second thought."

"And did you?" asked Ducky, "I mean _after _a second thought?"

"No!" said Tony, with a shudder, "I couldn't do that to Kate."

Ducky opened his mouth to ask what Tony had done with the dead fish but something told him that wasn't what Tony had come to talk to him about.

"If I was ten, Ducky, then perhaps it would be understandable. But I'm a lot older than ten."

"Indeed," said Ducky, with an emphasis that made Tony frown. "Now, now, Anthony, I don't think you need to be embarrassed. We can't always help where our affections are given and I don't think that love is ever wasted."

"You don't think it suggests that, well ... suggests that my life is a bit empty if I'm sad about my goldfish dying?" asked Tony.

"Do _you_ think your life is empty, Anthony?" As Tony hesitated to answer, Ducky continued, "It seems to me that you have a very responsible, pressurised and time-consuming job which, I may say, you do very well. It is also my impression that you have a wide circle of friends, you have your hobbies of movies and music ... I wouldn't describe that as empty."

"I suppose so," said Tony reluctantly.

"I don't know how Timothy manages to keep Jethro the dog in his apartment. I think you found a very practical solution to your wish to have an animal companion. I don't think you should consider it a weakness that you wanted to have something living sharing your apartment. I would have been more concerned about your mental wellbeing if you had felt nothing when fishy Kate died but just felt that you had, I don't know ... done nothing more than broken an ornament."

"Kate was much more than an ornament, Ducky," said Tony a little hotly, "I think she knew who I was; sometimes she'd take food out of my fingers. And she was really soothing to watch."

"Then, my dear boy, I think it would have been churlish of you not to be upset when she passed on to the great fishbowl in the sky!"

"Thanks, Ducky," said Tony, "sorry to have dumped this on you."

"Not at all, not at all, you know that I am always ready to share my experiences. Why, I remember when ..."

"Ducky, did you have something else you were meant to be doing? You seemed as if you were going somewhere when I came in."

"Ahh, yes," said Ducky, "Anthony, I feel I should warn you that Abigail has called a campfire to discuss ..."

"Discuss what?" asked Tony, distrustfully.

"Funeral arrangements, my boy, funeral arrangements."

NCISNCIS

So," said Abby excitedly, "I've been doing some research on the internet ..."

"On goldfish disposal?" asked Ziva sceptically.

"Oh yes, Ziva," said Tim, "there's a whole world of fishy funerals out there."

"Yes, yes, yes," said Abby, "there was this really cool thing of making a little paper boat, putting fishy in it, pushing it out on to the river and setting light to it. Sort of a Viking funeral for fish. But we could improve on it ... Gibbs could make a little wooden raft. Perhaps it could have a sail and I thought Timmy could do something with fireworks! It would be great!"

"But why would we wish to do this?" asked Ziva.

"Because ... because ..., I feel bad that Tony didn't tell us that Kate had died," said Abby, "and this would show him that we cared."

"I do feel a bit guilty," said Tim, "that we didn't notice that Tony was feeling down yesterday."

"We thought he was tired," protested Ziva, " we thought we were leaving him in peace."

"I think he thought we would laugh if he had told us," said Tim, "that's not good."

"It is entirely possible that we _would _have laughed, Tim," said Ziva, "because he would probably have made it into a joke. You know what Tony is like."

"Ziva!" said Abby reproachfully.

"Ziva's right, you know, Abby," said Tim.

"But ... but," continued Ziva, "I will admit that, when I stayed in Tony's apartment, he was very sweet with Kate. Very gentle and caring and ... I ... I was glad that he had someone, or rather, some_thing_ to talk to. That he was not on his own. So, perhaps I would not have laughed. It is always painful to lose someone, or something, one cares for."

"Oh, Ziva," said Abby in a sympathetic tone of voice as she enfolded her in an Abby-hug.

"What's going on here?" came a curt enquiry from the door.

"Gibbs!" said Abby happily, "you can come and join us if you want."

"What I _want_ is to know why my team is not at their desks, WORKING!" said Gibbs.

"Well, Boss, we, we, er ... we," stammered Tim.

"We were making funeral arrangements for goldfish Kate," explained Abby, "we thought you could make her a funeral raft."

"A what?" asked Gibbs, momentarily distracted from the mission of retrieving his missing team.

"A funeral raft. Abby had the idea of putting Kate on this little raft thingy and pushing it out on the Potomac," said Tim.

"It will get burnt up," said Ziva, " so it does not need to be anything elaborate."

"I'm not making a funeral raft," said Gibbs firmly.

"Oh, Gibbs ... why not?" said Abby plaintively.

"Have any of you asked DiNozzo what he wants?" asked Gibbs. As they all shook their heads, he went on, "well, don't you think you should before you start making all these fancy arrangements?"

"But we feel bad," said Abby, "that we weren't very supportive of Tony yesterday."

"I know," said Gibbs, "but I'm not sure this is the way to show you care".

"The nuns got really interested in it, Gibbs," said Abby, "they had quite a heated discussion about whether it was all right to pray for a dead goldfish. They've written to the Bishop for his opinion."

Gibbs just looked at her firmly.

"So you think I should cancel the string quartet?" asked Abby.

Again, no reply but Abby knew the answer.

"Perhaps we should just try to be nice to Tony," suggested Ziva.

"Yeah, because that always works so well," said Tim, gloomily.

"Just don't give him a hard time," said Gibbs, "I think that'll do."

"And don't bring him pizza with anchovies on," said Abby, "at least not for a while."


	3. Chapter 3

Gibbs led Ziva and Tim back to the squad room leaving Abby wringing her hands in anxiety about how best the team could show Tony they loved him without overwhelming him. She picked up Bert and squeezed him but found no inspiration from his farts.

As the rest of the team got back to their desks they saw Tony with coat and backpack on heading out.

"Boss, I left a message for you. JAG called – my testimony on the Galbraith case has been brought forward. I've got to go."

Gibbs waved a hand at him to hurry him on his way. Ziva picked up a note from her desk,

"It seems my new weapon has arrived. I need to go down to the armory. Gibbs, is it all right if I go to the firing range afterwards to test it out?"

Gibbs waved another hand and watched her stride out happily. He turned to McGee,

"Well, Tim, are you going to stand me up as well?"

Tim shook his head, it was always unnerving when Gibbs cracked one of his rare jokes.

"Er, no, Boss, I can stay here. Unless you want me to be somewhere else ... is there somewhere else you want me to be? I tell you what, I'll just stay here," and he sat down.

Gibbs stared at him, sometimes he thought McGee was like a dog circling three times before deciding to lie down; perhaps he'd picked it up from Jethro the dog. If he was unkind, he might think Tony was like his goldfish: always going round with his mouth open. He found himself wondering what animal traits the rest of the team had but pulled himself together when he pictured what _they_ would think of him. He looked across at McGee and saw that he appeared to be doing an impression of a goldfish with his mouth opening and then shutting as he seemed to be plucking up courage to say something. Gibbs decided not to go for the subtle approach,

"Spit it out, McGee."

"Um, yes, Boss. Um, Boss, do you think ..."

"Quite often, McGee. Now will you get to the point?"

"Right, Boss. Of course, Boss. I was getting there."

Gibbs canted his head to one side and delivered his third hardest stare."

"Er, Boss, now that Kate has died. I mean Kate the goldfish, not Kate our Kate ...", he stammered a bit more as he saw Gibbs winding up to his second hardest stare, "um, Boss, do you think I should tell Tony about first Kate?"

Gibbs stared at Tim again as he remembered that day two years before.

NCISNCIS

Gibbs came into the squad room and overheard Tony trying to persuade his fellow agent to do something.

"Come on, Tim, it's the sort of thing team members are meant to do for each other."

"Tony, you barely let me into your apartment. When I come to pick you up, you make me stand on the door mat and keep my gloves on so I don't spread dirt on your floor or get finger marks on anything".

"Don't exaggerate, Tim, I don't do that," laughed Tony, but seeing Tim's frown, modified his answer, "well, perhaps once or twice. But you tend to come just after Maria has been in to clean ... and remember that time you came in after you'd just taken your scout troop to a mud theme park?"

"I'm not doing it, Tony," said Tim firmly.

"Look, it's really simple. I'll even let you watch my plasma TV ... hook up one of your computer game thingies. Just think of the resolution you'll get," wheedled Tony.

"And you don't mind if I bring some burgers?"

Tony shook his head resolutely,

"And some nice greasy fries?"

Tony grimaced but shook his head.

"And a really big, frothy milkshake?"

Tony closed his eyes for a moment but shook his head.

"Cos those shakes are real bad boys if they get spilled ... all sticky and gungy, that milk gets everywhere."

Tony seemed to suppress a groan but said gamely,

"I trust you, Tim. So will you do it?"

"Wow, you must really want me to do this," said Tim, impressed by Tony's courage, "so what exactly do you want me to do?"

"I have to go out of town this weekend and I need someone to look in on Kate. Make sure she's OK."

"And what does that involve?" asked Tim cautiously.

"She just needs a couple of flakes of food twice a day. Just enough that she eats it and it doesn't sink to the bottom too much. It's not good for her to have dirty water."

"And there's nothing else?" persisted Tim.

"Well, she'd probably like it if you said 'hello' to her but that's not essential."

"That sounds OK," said Tim a bit more happily, "hey, I haven't got to get there at the crack of dawn or anything, have I? Because I was looking forward to a lie-in on Saturday."

"Tim, do you really think that a goldfish of mine would be used to regular hours? No, just go a couple of times a day with a few hours in between."

"All right, you're on," said McGee.

"Great. I'll leave instructions out. No need to go in tonight. Tomorrow will be soon enough".

"No problem," said Tim with a sense of a good deed about to be accomplished, "but you'll owe me big time."

"I really appreciate this, Tim. Kate's been a bit off colour all week and I don't really like to leave her but now I know she'll be in safe hands. Ciao, See you all Monday!"

"No, wait!" cried out Tim, "you didn't say she was sick!"

"She's not really sick, just a bit, you know, lifeless. She'll be fine, it's happened before and she's bounced back."

"Tony!" wailed Tim, but it was too late, Tony had gone with a jaunty wave from the elevator.

Gibbs saw Tim sit down with a thump and bury his head in his hands.

"Don't worry, Tim," he said reassuringly, "she'll be fine."

McGee looked up hopefully but Gibbs forestalled him, "No, I won't fish sit instead of you. I've got a weekend booked with my boat and a bottle of bourbon. Good night, Tim, have a good weekend." As he left, he heard McGee groan.

Afterwards Gibbs couldn't decide whose bad luck came into play. Was it DiNozzo's ability to attract disaster or McGee's talent for turning everything to chaos? He realised he shouldn't have been surprised to have a distraught McGee standing in his basement the next evening.

"Boss, Boss, you've got to help me. I don't know what to do!"

Gibbs would normally ply his anxious guests with bourbon but somehow that never seemed the right approach with McGee.

"Calm down, McGee. What's happened?"

"I can't calm down, Boss. What am I going to do? He'll kill me."

"Who's going to kill you, McGee? You're not making any sense."

"Tony. Tony's going to kill me when he finds out what I've done."

"What have you done? Did you spill that milkshake after all?"

"No, oh I wish that's all I'd done," he sat down with a bang and then jumped up again and began to pace round the basement, "what am I going to do? What am I going to do?"

"You're going to tell me what you've done," said Gibbs firmly, "McGee, you're a highly trained federal agent, trained to cope with emergencies. Act like one."

"I'm not trained for this type of disaster," muttered McGee. "No, you're right, Boss, I must be calm, calm," and he took some deep breaths. "I went to Tony's apartment this morning and fed Kate. You know, Boss, I'm beginning to see what Tony sees in pet fish. It was really quite soothing – she swam around slowly, near the top of her bowl. It was like she'd been waiting there for me. I hadn't realised how wide goldfish open their mouths".

Gibbs frowned at this but did not comment.

"So I waited around for a while. Said 'hello', like Tony had said and then I left. Everything was fine, Boss, I swear."

"I'm sure it was, McGee, So what happened next?"

"I went back this afternoon with one of my computer games. Elf Lord 2 meets Thormaggedon 6. Tony said I could play it on his TV but I took clean snacks, Boss, I didn't want to get his couch dirty. So I went in, Kate was waiting at the top of the bowl again. I dropped few flakes of food in and then I went to connect up the game. It was great on Tony's plasma – I really must get one myself."

"McGee!" snapped Gibbs, wanting McGee to get to the dreaded, expected denouement.

"I did really well in the game. I went up three levels, crossed the moat, disabled the drawbridge, avoided the snake pit and was on my way up the tower to rescue the golden pony when I remembered I should check to see if Kate had eaten all her food."

"And?" asked Gibbs, already knowing the answer.

"She was still at the top. But she wasn't moving. She's dead, Gibbs. I killed Tony's goldfish. Boss, I think I'm going to have to resign. Or perhaps I could ask the Director if that vacancy is still open in Okinawa. Do you think Japan is far enough away?"

"McGee! You didn't kill Kate. Tony told you she was sick. You didn't do anything."

"And you think Tony will believe that?" wailed Tim, "do you remember the fuss he made when I didn't take a phone message properly? Do you really think he'll believe I didn't DO something to Kate? Boss, what am I going to do? I really like living in Washington, I like my weebelos, I like my job, I even like Tony most of the time. Boss?"

Gibbs wasn't sure he'd ever seen anyone so desperate and, underneath his gruff exterior, there was something of a soft centre. Besides, he knew that to keep his team running efficiently, he needed to find a solution.

"Where's Kate now?" he asked.

McGee began to look hopeful, Gibbs had a 'taking charge' air about him. "She's still in her bowl. I didn't know what to do."

"Yeah, so you've said," said Gibbs, "OK, Tim, this is what we're going to do. We're going to go to Tony's apartment and check that Kate is really dead."

"She is, Boss, honestly," said Tim.

"Never assume, Tim."

"No, Boss, of course, Boss."

"And _if _she's dead, we're going to get a replacement."

"A replacement?" breathed Tim.

"Sure. From what I remember she was just an ordinary fish, no distinguishing marks. We'll just find a fish about the same size and colour. DiNozzo will never notice the difference."

"Do you think so?" said McGee, doubtfully, "Tony's awfully observant."

"Have you got a better idea, McGee?" asked Gibbs pointedly, "or do you want to tell Tony that you murdered Kate?"

"But you said it wasn't my fault," moaned McGee.

"It wasn't. But do you think Tony will believe you?"

Finding a ringer for Kate had proved more difficult than Gibbs had anticipated. He and McGee had retrieved an undeniably deceased fish from the bowl and taken her to the pet store round the corner from Tony's apartment. Gibbs got the impression that the proprietor had done this sort of thing before: he was remarkably patient as they picked out the nearest approximation. Finally they made their selection, Tim paid up with hardly a grumble and they left the store.

The pet store owner kindly put the fish container in a brown paper sack so that none of Tony's neighbours would notice a new arrival. He also agreed to dispose of Kate One. McGee hoped he wasn't going to feed her to any of the merchandise but decided he didn't really want to know. Under Gibbs' calm supervision all went well. Kate Two was placed in the bowl and swam around happily. To Gibbs and McGee she looked exactly like Kate One and they decided they had done all that they could. Gibbs went back to his basement and Tim packed up his game and tiptoed out of the apartment.

Ziva was puzzled on Monday morning to sense that McGee and Gibbs were slightly tense, a bit too studiedly nonchalant. Tony was the last to arrive and he almost literally _bounced_ into the squad room. He threw his back pack down and then went to stand in front of McGee's desk. He was holding a brown paper sack in one hand. McGee gulped nervously. Gibbs leaned forward slightly.

"McGee!" said Tony.

"Tony?" squeaked Tim.

"I want to thank you,"

"Thank me?"

"I don't know what you did to Kate but she's like a new fish. I got home last night and she was racing round her bowl like a, like a, well whatever the word for a young fish is. It's like a miracle".

"Oh, it was nothing," said Tim, "honestly."

"No, Tim. I really appreciate it. Here, take this," and he handed the brown sack to Tim.

Tim took it a bit gingerly and looked inside, "Donuts with sprinkles?" he said.

"It's the least I could do," said Tony slapping him on both shoulders, "Thank you, Tim. And Kate says thank you, too."

NCISNCIS

"So, Boss, do you think I should tell Tony about first Kate?"

"Why do you want to tell him now, McGee?" asked Gibbs.

"I don't know, it doesn't seem quite right that Tony's mourning the wrong fish," said Tim.

"So you want him to be sad about Kate One as well as Kate Two? How does that help?"

"Well, I suppose if you put it like that ..."

"Trust me, Tim. Sometimes it's better to let sleeping fish lie."

* * *

_AN: I will get back to the serious part, I promise._


	4. Chapter 4

"Hi, Max", called out Tony as he went into the his local pet store.

"Hey, Tony," said the store owner, "don't tell me Kate's gone through all that food already? You know you shouldn't overfeed her."

"No, I know," said Tony. "I haven't come for more food. I need your advice."

"Fire away. I don't charge for my expertise."

"Kate died," said Tony.

"Oh, man, I'm sorry."

"She was just a fish. I shouldn't be upset."

"Tone, I had someone in yesterday in tears because their stick insect died and I once got really attached to a _Cepea nemoralis_!"

"A what?"

"It's a type of snail."

"Thanks, I think."

"So what can I do for you? Looking for a replacement?"

"No, that's been taken care of for me. Some friends swept in and brought me a couple yesterday."

"Couple of kids with their dad? One gold, one silver fish?"

"Yeah, my Director and his children. You mean they bought them here?"

"Sounds like it. They took ages choosing; it seemed real important to them to get the right ones."

Tony laughed, "If I was a suspicious sort of guy, I'd begin to think you were making your business out of selling replacements for my dead fish."

"Hey, man, I wish I'd never told you about those two coming here in a lather to get a replacement. I'd never have told you if I'd known it was _your_ fish they were substituting. I just thought it was a funny story. I thought the younger guy was going to burst into tears he was so worked up."

"That's all right, Max. Probably just as well you told me, I thought I was going mad. I thought it was just a trick of the light that made her look a different colour so it was a relief when you let it slip. You'd think that they'd have had more sense than come to the pet store round the corner from my apartment though."

"If you'd seen the state they were in, Tone, you'd be surprised they managed to keep it together enough to not to get you a piranha!"

"I half wish I'd been away this time as well. Perhaps my fish sitter would have got me another ringer when Kate Two died. Hey, it was only two Kates, wasn't it?"

Max shrugged his shoulders, "I've only sold one replacement. That's not to say they didn't go elsewhere. But I don't think you'd have been fooled, do you?"

"I guess not. Anyway, no point thinking about that now," said Tony philosophically.

"Did you ever let on?" asked Max curiously.

"No. I decided to think that they'd done it because they cared. And it was sort of worth it to see Gibbs and McGee trying to act all casual and occasionally slip in the odd question about how Kate was doing."

"So, what's this advice you need?"

"Well, as it seems you know, I now have two new fish. Hansel and Gretel, by the way. At the moment they're in Kate's old bowl but I'm worried it's a bit too small for them."

"It's probably OK at the moment," thought Max, "but they're young fish, they'll grow and I think it might be a bit on the tight side for them."

Tony sighed, "I guess you're going to have to sell me a new tank then. Damn."

"Like I said, there's no hurry if you can't afford one now."

"No, it's not that. It means that the bowl will be empty and it looks a bit sad," explained Tony.

"Well, buy another fish to go in it," said the practical entrepreneur.

"Wow, you're really going to do well out of my domestic tragedy, aren't you?", joked Tony.

"Or you can sell it to me," suggested Max, "people are always on the lookout for second hand equipment. We can do a part exchange."

Tony winced, "No, I don't think I could sell Kate's bowl."

"Another fish it is, then," said Max happily.

"I don't want to turn my apartment into an aquarium," protested Tony, "if I'm not careful I'll end up with fifteen cats and twenty dogs as well and having to move to the country. How will I get all the dog hair off my suits? It's a slippery slope. Extra fish today, moose in the kitchen tomorrow. Who knows what might happen?"

"Don't think there's much danger of you ending up as a zookeeper," said Max drily, "so what's it to be?"

"I don't know. I don't like the idea of the bowl being empty." He gazed round the shop and then paused as he spotted a particular fish in one of the tanks, "wait a minute. I've just had an idea. You might be going to make a sale after all."

NCISNCIS

Gibbs had a visitor in his basement that night.

"Hey, Boss," came Tony's voice.

"Down here," answered Gibbs.

"Boss, I wondered if you would do me a favour."

"You want me to build that raft, after all?" said Gibbs in a surprised tone of voice. He hadn't expected Abby to be that persuasive.

"Raft?" said Tony, obviously flummoxed.

"Never mind," said Gibbs, "it was something Abby was thinking about."

"Abby's taking up river rafting?"

"DiNozzo, I said, forget it."

"Oh, so it's a secret. OK, mum's the word. Although it's a bit outdoorsy for Abby. Is she doing it with the nuns?"

"DiNozzo!"

"Sorry, Boss. But you have to admit it's an odd picture. Hey, her birthday's coming up: perhaps I could get her a life jacket with skulls on it."

Gibbs sighed but realised he would have to tell Tony the whole story otherwise Abby would be shocked at her present from Tony. "The raft's not for Abby, it's for Kate."

"Why would Kate need a raft?"

"To lie on as you launch her into the Potomac doused in lighter fuel."

"Why would I do that, Boss?"

"To give her a Viking funeral," explained Gibbs patiently.

"But Kate wasn't Scandinavian, Boss. Why would she want a Viking funeral?"

"I don't know, DiNozzo. How should I know how Abby's mind works? So, what _is_ the favour?"

Tony was lost in thought for a moment as he pictured setting fire to his dead fish. He shuddered and then recalled why he had come.

"Would you come with me to the Dawsons?"

"The Dawsons?" queried Gibbs.

"You remember, Boss, the gunny who got killed. His wife and daughter."

"Of course, I remember," said Gibbs a little crossly, "why do you want to go see them? And why do you need me to go with you? There isn't anything fishy about the accident is there?"

Tony grimaced at Gibbs' choice of words but didn't mention it. Gibbs wasn't really known for making jokes.

"No, nothing. I just wanted to go and see them and I thought it might be better if we both went."

"Why?"

"Because Mrs Dawson has got a life insurance payment of $567456.00 coming her way plus whatever the Marine Corps pays out as a result of the negligence in the maintenance of the truck."

Gibbs stared at him.

"Hey, it's one of my rules, always suspect the wife so I did some research on any insurance policies she had. Now that I know that, I'd feel a bit, well, a bit like a gold-digger if I went there on my own. You'll lend respectability."

"Respectability? Me?"

"Well, if you changed out of that sweatshirt, maybe," said Tony cheekily.

Gibbs gave one of his rare barks of laughter and clapped Tony on his back. McGee would have been amazed.

Tony insisted on driving them and they went very sedately. A drive which would have taken Gibbs twenty minutes took forty with Tony's careful driving. As they pulled up to the Dawsons' house, they saw Cheryl and Isabella sitting on their veranda.

"Special Agent Gibbs, Special Agent DiNozzo," said Mrs Dawson, "is something wrong?"

"No, nothing at all, Mrs Dawson," said Gibbs, "we just wanted to check how you were doing."

"That's kind of you. The Marine Corps are being very supportive but it's difficult," she swallowed and put a tissue to a reddened eye."

"Hello, Agent Tony," said Isabella.

"Bella," said Tony, "been doing any more drawing?"

The girl shook her head and looked down at her feet. Gibbs looked at Tony and something fell into place for him. Isabella wasn't a particularly pretty child but Gibbs guessed that somehow she had captured the heart of the child phobic Tony.

"That's a shame," said Tony, "that sun you painted for me was pretty cool."

A small smile dawned on Isabella's face, "Really?"

"Absolutely. I've got it pinned to my notice board."

"I could draw you something else, if you like. Would you like me to paint you a fish: like your goldfish?" She hesitated and then said, "Are you still sad?"

"A bit, yes," said Tony.

"So am I," sighed Isabella.

"I've got something for you, Bella – if your mom doesn't mind," Mrs Dawson nodded, somehow she trusted this kind looking man. "OK, close your eyes, while I go and get it. No peeking!"

Isabella closed her eyes and Tony went back to his car. He retrieved the present and put it on the veranda table. "OK, open your eyes." Tony waited anxiously, suddenly wondering if this was a good idea.

Isabella opened her eyes and gasped, "It's a goldfish! And it's pink!"

It was indeed a goldfish with a reddish tint. When Tony had spotted it in Max's shop, he had suddenly thought of a little girl who needed someone, or something, to listen to her.

"Is it for me?" breathed Isabella in wonder.

"If you want it," said Tony, "this is my goldfish's house and I thought you might like it. Kate, my goldfish, was a real good listener and perhaps, you'd like something like that."

The little girl couldn't speak but nodded tremulously. Mrs Dawson said,

"It's very kind of you. Can we pay you for the bowl, the fish?"

"No, you're doing me a favour. I didn't want to have the empty bowl in my apartment. I'd be glad to think of Bella having it," said Tony.

"But won't you be lonely?" asked Isabella.

"No, Bella, some kind friends bought me two other fish so I've got twice as many fish to keep me company."

"And it's _pink!_" said Isabella, "pink's my favourite colour."

"Agent Gibbs is a fan of redheads too," said Tony in a confidential whisper.

"Thank you, Agent Tony, I'll love it forever. Is it a girl fish or a boy fish?"

"My friend Max thought it was a boy fish, but it's hard to tell," said Tony.

"Then I'll call him 'Agent Tony', said Isabella.

"_Special_ Agent Tony," corrected her mother with a smile.

"_Very_ Special Agent Tony," further corrected Gibbs with a matching smile.

NCISNCIS

Three days later, early in the morning Tony went to the park across from his apartment. He took a small package with him and went to the pond in the middle. By the edge of the water, under a tree, he scraped out a small hollow and then placed the package in the hole . He put the earth back on top and patted it gently down. He stood there for a moment or two and looked out across the water. Then he looked down once more, bent to pat the earth once more and then walked away.

As he got to the park entrance, he spotted a familiar figure sitting on one of the benches. Tony smiled and went and sat down on the bench. A hand reached out to give him a steaming cup. Tony took it and sniffed appreciatively,

"Jamaican mocha, thanks, Palmer."

He took a sip and sat back with a sigh, "How did you know?"

"Just had a feeling," said Jimmy.

Tony looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"OK ... I've come every morning just in case."

Tony smiled and knocked his cup against Jimmy's in a toast,

"To Kate. Or rather to Kates!"

They sat together in silence while they drank. As he finished his coffee, Jimmy looked at his watch,

"Oops, better be going otherwise Dr Mallard will be finding more pipettes for me to clean."

"Thank you, Jimmy. For everything. I'd better be making a move too."

"It's still early. I thought you didn't have to be in till late today."

"True, Black Lung, but I've got to get back to my apartment. I'm a family man now. Who knows what my kids will be getting up to when I'm not there to keep an eye on them?

"Your kids?" choked Jimmy

"Hansel and Gretel".

* * *

_AN: thank you to everyone who has read or left comments on this story. It was great fun to write!_


End file.
